This blog post is an attempt to
start writing again and have others read it. It's the only way to improve my
love/hate relationship with writing. To celebrate this milestone, I will
publish something I wrote and originally intended to post in January. I still
think the idea holds true two months later. Enjoy.
January 22, 2013
Today I learned a very valuable lesson, and I learned it in two different ways. It was one of those things I was pondering about, and then later on I heard something about it, almost like a response to an unasked question.
In the earlier part of my day, I ran into an issue at work. I was hoping my shift was going to be covered by a kind soul, but my written plea on the bulletin board was virtually bypassed. I went into work to see what I could do in light of the conflict-- I was willing to work the hours surrounding my class-- but instead, I was reprimanded and asked why I didn't say anything sooner. Unfortunately, it didn't occur to me to notify a manager in advance of the situation, that way they would have had ample time to help me out. Instead, I came off as a letdown. They were expecting me to be there for my late 8-hour shift, and to suddenly bring to their attention that I couldn't work was just not a good look. I felt horrible and was fearful of losing my job. The only relief I felt was in the fact that next week's schedule is relative to my class schedule. It was a very hard lesson to learn in speaking up and letting my voice be heard. My lesson: using my voice can really turn a situation around.
With my work debacle still on the brain, I headed to my first Tuesday night class of the semester: Book Publishing Overview. I primarily want to do magazines in the long run, but I am a bookworm first, so I was looking forward to it. I was pleasantly surprised! Sitting in class and intently listening to my professor made me think of the interests I have. I'm really getting into fashion now, but growing up, I loved puzzles and reading and building things with K'NEX. It was the building part of architecture that made me giddy. I love putting things together. I find joy in working with my hands, whether it’s with a crafty project or following a Paula Deen recipe.
We made introductions in class, and my professor talked to us about one thing he took out of it, a point of interest, you could say. For one girl, it was entering the editorial side of the magazine industry. He suggested she start a blog to establish her voice. The phrase jumped out at me, so I wrote it down for myself. I knew that I had a blog of my own that has been abandoned, and what better chance to re-enter the blogosphere than with this post?
For those who know me well, they know that I am a quiet individual at my core. Sure, I can be animated and opinionated, and maybe a little funny, but for the most part, I'm used to keeping my mouth shut. I'd like to say now, in retrospect, that was because I had no one to really talk to growing up, and the concept of being around people outside of school was extremely foreign. I oftentimes felt that I was tensely quiet at school, but when I got home, the true essence of myself would come out and relax in the comfort of my own home...with no one to really see it. I didn't really appreciate having a voice until college, when I met all kinds of people and developed new friendship. I was finally being heard by others, and people liked being around me. It was very an eye-opening and pleasant experience. Great college memories were made from it.
Unfortunately, I still struggle with establishing my voice. Since becoming a Christian, I have developed a level of transparency with other believers, but I still hold my tongue when I should really speak up. Today served as a reality check. I was shown the consequences of my lack of action, and it was hard to bear. I was even tongue-tied as I became flustered at work. The world is not going to be gracious to me if I continue to hold my tongue at the wrong time. If I want to be known for how I see myself, I must speak-- and write-- of what's going on in my world. It's the only way I can escape being inside of my head all of the time.
As an aspiring editor, I gain such valuable wisdom. I have a vision to share and a story to tell, so I must tell it. Otherwise, it will stay in my head, only to later vanish, and the world will never hear me. But I have a dream. My dream...is to be heard.
Drika
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